Questions

Fear is something we all have. We fear spiders, heights, needles, the bogeyman, or peanut butter sticking to the roof of your mouth (its a real fear look it up), but what are our fears about God? I began to formulate a list of all the things that I have feared in my life, and I would have to say I'm probably not alone in some of my fears. My first fear was what if God doesn't exist? What if i spend all my life trying to live up to the standards of something that isn't real? But this question is short lived because a trumping question is what if God does exist? What if God is real and I didn't acknowledge he existed? Then I have an eternity in hell, and for what? Maybe 80 years on Earth? The illusion I like to use with younger kids when talking about this ism, if I gave them their favorite candy what would be better. A trashcan full or a mountain? Yeah the trashcan is probably better for their teeth, but the mountain will never run dry. They will always have candy. The trashcan will soon run dry,but the mountain will be never ending. So why take the chance of having a trashcan full of good times, when you can have a mountain of amazing times.
My next question was what if I'm not good enough. I mean I have fallen well short of the mark that people should uphold in all aspects of my life, so why would I have any dominion in the kingdom of heaven? This is not as easily answered, but at the same time there is an simple solution. It's just hard to believe. Too often we view our bodies as a source of sinfulness and our corruptness, but in all reality the Bible talks about our body being a temple and the Spirit dwelling with us (1 cor. 3:16). This means that God the Spirit desires to dwell in our broken, dirty, sinful bodies. He knows all our mistakes and he is praying for us to overcome our struggles and I don't know about you, but having God desire to dwell with me and pray for me gives me a sense of confidence that I am worthy of all, and can do all.
My final question was what's holding me back from complete surrender to God? I thought about this for awhile, and all the answers I could think of were excuses. I'm not holy enough. I'm busy. I'm too young. I'm poor. The list can go on and on, but all I sound like is when I was 5 and I got in trouble, and I whimpered all the way to the corner. I think the true reason that is holding me back, and probably holding a lot of people back is... Your ready for this? We are afraid. Afraid that God is going to make us change. People don't like change, people like the normal everyday routine. If I surrender to God what if he asks me to go. Say. Do. I mean it's scary to think that God may call us into something we weren't expecting. What if God's plan is a complete 180 to where I am going? All these are things, ideas, excuses (what ever you want to call them) that are holding me, you, anyone back from completely surrendering to God. The answer to this question is faith. Faith that God will direct us, supply for us. I mean he did create me, he developed my plan. Why not let him drive? So my prayer today is "Lord, I know you are real. I know that everything about this world is a part of your creation and your plan. I thank you, Lord, for the Holy Spirit which is here with me, guiding me, and praying for me to succeed. I pray that you begin a transformation in me, which allows complete submission to you. Take my life, Lord, and make it yours. Amen"

So I decided to start reading. I been wanting to expand my relationship with God, and I decided that I needed some guidance. So lately I have been reading Francis Chan's Forgotten God book. To be honest, if you get the chance to read Francis Chan anything... DO IT! He is an amazing author with great insight that could help you fully understand anything better. But enough promoting the book, time to talk about what I'm reading. The book talks about the Holy Spirit being the forgotten God that people really don't think about anymore, and it made me question what do I know about the Holy Spirit? After thinking about that for awhile, I came to the conclusion that I really don't know much at all about the Holy Spirit. I knew that he was of equal value as Jesus and God and deserved worship because in church we sang a song that talked about the God head three in one... Father, SPIRIT, Son. So I guess that was a start. In the book, Chan pointed out that the Holy Spirit is our God on Earth. Jesus came to be on Earth, but he was crucified for us, which means he is no longer with us on Earth. So God and Jesus are in the heavenly Realm drinking milk and honey and we are down here with no God. Until God sent the Holy Spirit to dwell in us on Earth. So if I knew that the Holy Spirit is part of the Trinity, why do I ignore it? Why do so many people ignore it? Its something I don't understand yet, and I'm hoping as I read more into the book I will understand it more. One thing I do understand is the Holy Spirit is not something we turn on and off. We can't just turn him on when were in church, or in a difficult time then off every other time. The spirit should radiate in our bodies always. People should look at me and know that I am different because I have the Holy Spirit in me. But that's the kicker... We don't always radiate. Actually we hardly flicker, we are too busy trying to fit in or conform to the everyday norms that we sometimes don't even look like Christians. This made me think of an octopus. Its called a mimic octopus, and if you have ever seen it this thing is probably the most fascinating sea creature you have ever seen. What this octopus is a master of doing is it can morph its body into different shapes to make it appear to be a different species then it really is. That way predators don't attack it because they think it is something else. I think that this is how a lot of our relationships with God are. When we see persecutors coming, we dispel who we really are and our beliefs, so that they leave us alone and we can go back to our small flicker of a life. In James 3:11, he says "Can both fresh water and salt water flow from the same spring? My brothers, can a fig tree bear olives, or a grapevine bear figs? Neither can a salt spring produce fresh water." We must always radiate with the Holy Spirit. Not just sometimes. This is my prayer, "Lord, please make the scripture be living and active to and through me. Let the words penetrate all my wrong doings and expel any ill-conceived notions I have collected along the way. Let me radiate always for you Lord. Amen"